Windows 7 and a quantum shift in thinking

October 22nd 2009. The release date of Windows 7 and I’m pretty impressed. Generally, when we put new display models up on the shelves we do so without giving the machine a second thought. Just another piece of junk computer. Lately, though, everything we put out attracts the rest of the sales staff because right now every damn thing is pretty awesome. The Aussie dollar is powerful again and everything is cheap. With Vista slowly waving goodbye, an influx of cheap and very powerful machines the PC world is looking up. However…

On the same October day, our store was swiftly flooded with a tsunami of new model Apple iMacs and a 20% reduction in price across the board. Apple have countered the Windows 7 assault with a counter-offensive of their own in a technological Kursk. It’s game on but really the Macs offer nothing new except some cool looking 27″ iMacs and some very sharp pricing. Macs haven’t been overpriced for years but now they’re looking cheap, and I don’t mean in a bad way. Windows 7 has successfully bridged the gap with OSX. Not totally, but enough to stop the Vista bleed-out and put Microsoft back in the fight. I haven’t seen things this interesting in years.

So all this is now making the decision as to what to buy next really hard. The clear reasons to stay with Mac aren’t there any more but the cost of staying is now very attractive. But with Windows 7 I can get similar OS competence and maybe play some games. I’d miss Aperture though but I suppose I could go the new Adobe Elements which has been redesigned. If I buy a Sony Vaio, I get Adobe software included, a cool computer and I can control it with the PlayStation 3 XMenU bar. I can get rid of the iPods and go to a Walkman and if I ever got a Bravia everything integrates as well as an Apple system and possibly better. Hmmm…what to do.

Olympus are bastards

I’m still pissed at Olympus. Why? Well a few years ago they PROMISED me an SLR for the outstanding service rendered to them. What service. you ask? Well, how about selling a shitload of their cameras and training my staff to do the same when every other salesperson in retail land was selling Canon because it’s easy. Recently, Olympus asked me if I’d be a Brand Champion for them. I said “sure, why not, what’s in it for me”. Turns out not a lot except for some training and a free junket in Sydney for a few days. Great fun but WHERE’S MY FUCKING SLR?!!! Our Olympus rep, Mark, who I’ve known for years, last week made his regular trip to the store and before he had a chance to move, I sprung on him some market share analysis I printed from out POS system and guess what? I had more than doubled Olympus’ market share since returning to Domayne in December 2008. Single handed, I did it. Now, Olympus have many stores that turn over a lot more than ours but did I mention MORE THAN DOUBLE MARKET SHARE? So you bunch of tight assed cheapskates, WHERE”S MY FUCKING SLR? I deserve an E-30, minimum. I’d settle for an E-620 but for doubling the market share in our store they should say “Thanks Brad, you’re the best” with an E-30 and an 18-180mm lens.

Curiously, I have also tripled Nikon’s paltry market share, mainly because the rep Craig gives us stuff. All this market share increase has come from Canon which was once a very generous company but now isn’t. Our rep, Stella, is fantastic and also a pole dancer so really, Canon should me hammering the others. But Canon margins get raped in the on-going retail war of attrition and Nikon and Oly don’t. It’s better for me to sell them. Fuji just gave me a camera, an F70, so I sell their compacts all the time and Canon can rot on the shelves for all I care. But unfortunately, I have a soft spot for Olympus that even their total lack of respect for me cannot assuage but as soon as Nikon gives me a D5000 then it’s bye-bye Oly and into bed with the enemy. I am a mercenary. Make no mistake about this. I will only sell your stuff if there’s something in it for me. Do you want to keep that market share, Olympus? Then cough up.

Sony Versus Toshiba

Vaio VGNP13

We’ve just put the new ranges of laptops from Sony and Toshiba on the shelves and it struck me as odd the total difference in approach between the two. I have been selling computer stuff for 15 years and have sold Toshis when they were 7kg bricks with passive screens, no storage and 30 minute battery life. Over the years, the consensus among sales staff has always been consistent. If you were to buy a laptop for yourself you’d buy a Toshi. Reason? They don’t break down.

Olympus are idiots.

In the distant past I was a keen supporter of the North Sydney Rugby League Football Club. In Australian Rugby League this is a situation that inspires sympathy and mirth in others. No other sporting team in the world had the knack of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory quite like the Bears. This made each win all the more exquisite and progressively rare. Norths supporters don’t need to say why they support them but each will nod knowingly to the other, silently affirming the choice to be a Norths man. They are gone now and Rugby League has never been the same. Some say it’s better but it really isn’t. Only Norths supporters understand why.

The Apple Nightmare

Once upon a time there was no more rabid Apple fanatic than me, no truer a convert and no finer rebutter of the Microsoft proposition than me. You see, when I hit my stride I am a vitriolic destroyer of an opponent’s position. I can be reasonable and factual or I can be a devious sophist using deception and ambiguity to undermine any alternative view. Mostly I argue because I derive the most enjoyment from being a pain in the arse, holding no firm beliefs in ANYTHING…except now. Because, what I do know with complete and absolute certainty is that I FUCKING HATE APPLE!!!

The real story of Christ

Christians annoy me. I don’t hate them, I just think they’re stupid for believing in fairy tales. Every Christian should go through this exercise. For month, every time they go to use the word “GOD” substitute the word “FAIRIES” instead. It will then become abundantly clear how silly this religion is. Especially this day and age. I don’t want to go into a lengthy diatribe about all the rubbish they believe but rather posit a plausible story about what I think might have actually happened.

Goodbye, USA

Romulus Augustus surrenders the Imperial Crown

I’m sick of ranting about Mac and PC and now that I’ve got it out of my system it’s time to look at other things going on. I’m now bored with the US election although the stupidity of Americans never ceases to impress. Sarah Palin is completely insane. Sure she looks good in a sort of MILF porn way and that’s a good thing but bragging that you’re just a hockey Mum with a gun is pretty terrifying. Just what the world needs, a clueless fundamentalist running a near bankrupt empire in its death throes. I’m thinking of the list of idiot emperors who saw out the last days of the Roman empire before being overrun by the barbarian hordes. There’s many similar examples in history and the decline of the USA will be listed amongst them by future historians.

New Macbook Prices

Too expensive MacBook

Are Apple completely insane?

Do they not go out in public and see what’s going on in retail. How could you not understand that you can buy a Toshiba or Compaq notebook with a better spec for half the cost of the cheapest MacBook? Even if you allow for the fact that they are probably better built with a better OS and iLife (see earlier posts) they absolutely should not be twice the price and higher. This bullshit pricing will test the faith of even the most sycophantic fanboy.

I’m on a bus last night with a bunch of Harvey Norman sales staff going to an awards bash. On the way home, Shane from a sister store fronts up to me and asks why I use Mac. My initial response is defensive because he is inexperienced with Mac and holds preconceived views. But I was realistic in my response and if he’d pressed me further I probably would have just said “I’m fucked if I know”. Maybe not. There’s still enough faith there to ensure I won’t buy another PC. But then since Apple are intent on giving me a fiscal fistfuck if I buy a Macbook, I’ll have to go without an upgrade for a while. Nice one dickheads.

Mac vs. PC 2.1 Historical Revisionism

Let’s go back in time to 1985. No reason, it’s just that that’s when I bought my Apple 2E with the 65C02 processor. Whooaa.. what a.. what a.. useless piece of junk. It did nothing. It wasn’t colour and the only games it could play were text games like Wizardry and Carriers at War, both great text games but I got limited time on them because of the constant failure of the dual floppy drives. I got a modem and went on-line to…nothing. There was ASCII porn which was cool but only bulletin boards full of machine code geeks. Still, that’s not Apple’s fault.

Mac vs. PC 2.0

There’s been an astonishing amount of commentary surrounding the recent releases of the Microsoft Seinfeld ads and the new “I’m a PC” campaign. I’ve read hundreds of comments in blogs and forums lately and I’m staggered at how pathetic most of them are. As a Mac user ( I have 5, plus a bunch of iPods and other Apple bits) I subscribe to most of the well known Apple sites for news. As a marketer, I also look at the marketing from both Apple and Microsoft and see who is taking what position. Hmmm….

What is really pissing me off is the level of idiocy in Mac Fanboy culture. While, I love my Macs, I fucking hate fanboys even if I might have tended toward that slippery slope once or twice myself. Mac Fanboys are bullshit artists and sycophantic historical revisionists who take a self-important stance because they chose to plant their flag in one technological corner. Now your Mac zealot is a fucking marketing expert as well!! I’ve got news for you pack of losers…you know nothing!

Let’s go back to basics and relook at the two platforms.

1. They are the same animal hardware-wise. Sure the iMac is an elegant machine. It’s beautiful and it just gets better. But there are PC manufacturers making machines just as nice. Some of the new HPs are very interesting and are quite beautiful as well. Sony Vaios are also quite attractive although Sony are pretty loose canons most of the time and are capable of making beautiful junk. So let’s eliminate the hardware from the equation because I just can’t see a single area that Apple hardware is superior to PC and you could equally argue that much PC gear is in fact, better than Apple.

2. Mac don’t do games. I know they CAN do games but that’s pretty recent and you have a choice of about 4 to pick from. I also know that consoles own the gaming market now but I can still buy or download eleventy billion games for the PC. If half of them are shit and full of bugs THAT’S NOT MICROSOFT’S FAULT. The fact that you can eventually get them going on a PC is itself a friggin’ technological miracle. You can’t get close on a Mac.

3. If we eliminate hardware and games that leaves productivity and internet. Let’s look at productivity first and the best place to start is Microsoft Office. In it’s current incarnation for Windows, Office is awesome. It is totally bullet-proof and it does pretty much everything you need for a business. I have used it since it was invented and I use it for real in large companies doing real business-type work and I love it. If you don’t then go and use Lotus and see how fucking good Office is. I’ve used Wordperfect as well and yes, it was good. In fact, it did things that Word still doesn’t do as well. However, the marginal utility that afforded me was nothing compared to the benefits of Office. Word, Excel and Outlook work together quite well and the Wordperfect suite was shit. Lotus was OK but only OK. Office rules and is used by everyone so you don’t have to train a new recruit because people just know how to use it now. That’s the benefit from being a near monopoly. I’m sure there are geeks who will wee their pants because they’ve found the odd thing Office doesn’t do and they got some freeware that does it but only four people in the world use. Good on ‘em. Just stay the fuck away from any business I work in.

Apart from Office, PC own enterprise. For years I’ve used workstations on Dell, HP or IBM networks without too much failure and since Windows XP rarely a crash.The Dell network we use now is pretty robust and sure there are incidents but no more than you’d get on XServe networks or Unix. Outlook and Exchange server are great. Not perfect but go and use Lotus Domino and you’ll beg for Microsoft. I don’t want to get into open source vs proprietary platforms; this is about Mac vs PC and I am very pro PHP and MySQL against ASP and MS-SQL but only for cost.

Outside the enterprise environment, lets look at creative arts. Brands like Adobe, Corel etc. They all work on both platforms and just as well. There is a large enough benefit in the way Macs deploy these apps to give them a clear market share and a higher than PC take up. But if the Large Hadron Collider created a black hole that only sucked in Apple gear, graphics and music studios would still get their work done on PCs. The reality is that Mac offer no universal advantage over PC at all despite areas of specific advantage.

Mac do come with the iLife suite, which is good but not great. In fact, it gets progressively worse. iPhoto is so restrictive I just hate it. I can’t get to anything easily and now the database folder is packaged up. The problem is, I’m so locked into iPhoto and iTunes, the pain-in-the arse factor is too high to change. I do like iMovie but iChat is shit and so is iWeb. Dot Mac was lame and from all accounts Mobile Me is lamer and busted.

4. Internet. OK. At the moment a clear advantage to Mac. Not because of any usability gain but simply because of security. When I sold Apple gear this was the clincher. You sold Apple on coolness and security and hid the fact they do very little that’s significantly better than PC. However, a large part of Mac’s advantage over PC is the small market share it occupies making it a lower risk. That will change. It will change because Macs will become exposed and Windows will get more secure until they are the same. Enjoy it while it lasts. Oh, and browsers…don’t go there. Safari is now on Windows and Firefox 3 has pwned Safari.

So there you go. Platforms compared there’s little to separate them. That’s today. The fanboys are also historical revisionists so let’s take a look at the relative strengths of the platforms in the next post.